[SuperCrew]

1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
4. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
5. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
6. When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
7. When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
8. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
9. Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
10. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
11. Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.