Laws of Martial Arts

[ladyfighter]

1. The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.

2. The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.

3. The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the instructor will be sick.

4. The instructor will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.

5. If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.

6. After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.

7. After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.

8. In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.

9. No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.

[Chapel]

10. If you have to break a board for a test you will find that boards do hit back.

11. If you have never messed up on certain technique in a certain form, you will mess it up during a test.

[Ben]

12. whenever you talk to a non martial artist about martial arts somewhere along the line they will say 'Id just use a gun'

13. theres never a black belt around when you have a question and theres too many when its time to partner up for free fighting

[Chapel]

Originally Posted by Ben

12. whenever you talk to a non martial artist about martial arts somewhere along the line they will say 'Id just use a gun'

14. Every martial artist will respond with "Do you have a gun now? Because I have my fists on me," or something of a similar nature.

15. Or... if you are really cool

[sirdarksol]

16. Invariably, when doing light sparring without pads, you and your partner, will, at the exact same time, throw kicks mirrored kicks at the other's thigh, resulting in shins meeting at near-full force.

[Little Dragon 117]

Originally Posted by Chapel

14. Every martial artist will respond with "Do you have a gun now? Because I have my fists on me," or something of a similar nature.

15. Or... if you are really cool

I remember when i did that.......

[47MartialMan]

17. If you walk around in your martial art gi/fu shang, be prepare for a Kiai from the meat section with sausage chucks....

[Chapel]

What are we up to 18?

18. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. They punch, kick and choke harder too.

[47MartialMan]

19. Automotive doors dont close automatically. When hands are full, one must use the "kick-o-matic"

[Chapel]

20. Take caution by only using the kick-o-matic on your car or else you might need to use the kick-o-matic on the car's owner.

[47MartialMan]

21. In winter, use a axe for firewood, the cold stings the hands (and the ears)

[JoaNor]

22. No matter how dead a Heavy Bag is, it always hits you after you attack.

[47MartialMan]

23. A Karate Chop is not a pork loin from a Japanese Butcher.

[ericjones80]

old thread but im bringing it back:

24. The day you forgot your mouthguard will be the day your partner throws the wrong punch and misses the focus mitt.

[gbells]

25. When in doubt, duck!