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Martial Arts FunniesAny funny martial arts jokes or stories....
1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.
Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
a. Baseball.
b. Football.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!"
Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:
a. Oh yeah, *****-loads.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?
Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:
a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
d. Define pretty
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Jaguar and a Boat"). No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:
Would you get married again?
Definitely not!
Why not, don't you like being married?
Of course I do.
Then why wouldn't you remarry?
Okay, I'd get married again.
You would?
(Man groans.)
Would you sleep with her in our bed?
Where else would we sleep?
Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
That would seem like the proper thing to do.
And would you let her use my golf clubs?
She can't use them; she's left-handed.
- - - silence - - -
*****.
OH Thank God, I'm NOT that afeminent!! LOL
I believe a girl can rock a guys world so much he gives up answers to questions she's never even asked
Styles: Jeet Kune Do (philosophy),Muay Thai,Kung Fu
Posts: 1,641
Home Country:
WOW LF you had me laughing up a storm here ha ha
well
thankfully i have a lot more time before i get married or have one of the most serious relationships of my life so i can think of some better answers or fall back snwers if i stumble on my own words
__________________
An ant on the move does more than a dozing ox.
Lao Tzu
"Be the change that you want to see in the world.. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake."
Defending yourself, your beliefs, or your individuality is never easy as it only brings conflict....just look at the news, your school, or a Martial arts forum.....
5 Questions Most Men Fear...
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