Martial-forums.com exclusive interview with Josh "Coltrane" Hall

[JaysonEmo]

This interview is with Josh "coltrane" Hall.. A promising young fighter on his way to the UFC.

Jayson: First off Josh I would like to thank you on behalf of myself and all our readers at Martial-forums.com for your time. And I'll start this off with my first of many questions. What got you started in martial arts?..


Coltrane: no sweat I'm happy you think I'm worth interviewing especially since I've got all the time in the world since I'm just training and fighting full time these days . I decided to get into fighting for a couple reasons; I have a list of "Things To Do Before I Die (in no particular order)" that I started writing when I was 17, it's all torn up but I keep it in my wallet. "Win the UFC" is one of the first things I wrote. Fast forward 11 yrs and my life had taken a few unforeseen turns, I'd had some bad experiences with some of the behind the scenes people in mma, then my best friend in the whole world died unexpectedly. I decided I'd better get back after my list.

Jayson: Sorry to hear that. I'm sure they would be proud of you now. What styles do you practice?

Coltrane: He was a Pro Boxer, and yeah, he'd be proud. I'd like to say I practice "The Tao of Coltrane" but I'm afraid that's just fancy talk for "Muy Thai" "Wrestling" "ju jitsu" and "responsible drinking habits"

Jayson: (laughing) Let me know when you open a school. I'm already a black belt drinker... Can you walk me through a week of your Pre-fight training? What's the hardest training you do?

Coltrane: You'd have to test for your black belt in my school son. The first rule for me a week out of fighting is no sex, not even with myself ; ) second, I start doing my workouts late at night when I'm probably going to be fighting, I want to get my body used to having to go to battle late in the evening rather than getting settled in to rest. Third, I taper down in the intensity dept; I'm still refining my routine, lately I think I've over recovered but its kind of trial and error. Lastly I just keep mentally focused, I don't think about my fight, what my opponent might do, etc. I just work on the things I can personally control and that's it.


Jayson: (laughing again) you're a character. What goes through your mind in the hours up to a fight? How do you manage the nerves before you come out of the dressing room?

Coltrane: you only think I'm funny now, eventually I'll run out of new material and I'll only get those "polite" laughs. Ok here goes, I'll try to explain, I'm sort of inarticulate when it really counts .I actually DON'T think. That is to say, I try to focus on the moment existing as it happens. Back when I used to wrestle I would burn up all kinds of energy by being nervous, I'd start trying to predict what would happen and figure things out and la la la I'd be a wreck. I placed 4th in the Olympic Trials and I know that if I had control of my thoughts I'd have done a lot better back then.

Jayson: Seems logical...You were an Army Ranger. Does any of your military experience shine through in the ring? By the way thank you for serving our country.

Coltrane: Right on bro, Rangers Lead The Way
I think having been a Ranger (which a lot of people always say "what, like a park Ranger?") has helped a lot, I have a mean right hand now from laying these morons out ha-ha im joking
Rangering was tough, tough in a different sort of way....fighting lasts for about 30 mins top...but being out in the field hungry, cold and without sleep for days at a time really tests you. Yeah, that experience defiantly made me mentally tougher.

Jayson: Most definitely...Ranger training is mentally and physically intense. And you have to be tough with a nickname like "Coltrane". How did you get that nickname?

Coltrane: ok this is my lamest story ever....because of a scene in the movie The Royal Tenembaums I started calling all my friends "Coltrane" you know, instead of "man" or "dude" or whatever. The name just tickles me to death when I hear it
so sure enough, the law of backfire-ence all these guys and girls start calling me "Coltrane" and it sort of stuck.

Jayson: I heard you had a quite a hair raising experience during a moving job. You got to tell our members the story. I know it's a good one.

[JaysonEmo]

Coltrane: Ok, so it was like this; my buddy Bobby occasionally asks me to do these errands for the company he works for. These normally take me about an hour and He logs me in for 12, so it's always worth it.
Bobby calls me up and says "Yo, come pick me up. We have to go to ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Venice bch. I'm gonna drop you off where you'll help move some furniture for about an hour and then we'll go." (1st off I hate moving, being a big guy automatically qualifies you as a "great" mover to all your friends so I've had to do it a ton of times. but like I said 1hr of work for 12 hrs pay so....) I'm all "ok man" so we get there....
I get out of the car and the first thing I notice is, the guy standing in the back of the moving truck is a ****ing GIANT. I'm big, but this guy looks like Marv from Sin City. I walk up to the truck and he says "Can I help you?" (This guy's voice is like gravel, kinda sounds like Hulk Hogan) I say "yea I'm supposed to help move some stuff tonight..." he says "What's your name?" "Josh" "Ok come on up"
So I climb up and he proceeds to tell me about how he's just gotten out of prison and how no babes want to talk to him because of how he looks and if they do once they find out he's just a mover there's no chance for him. I take all this in and make a mental note that I'm dealing with a crazy person and then he makes a joke "know why I call my company Nite Moves?" "No" I say. "Cause we move at nite" I go "huh, bob seger should write a song about that" the joke is lost on him so we grab a chair and start moving it inside the house.
We get inside and there is two fine gals, one is dark haired with dark eyes, flat out beautiful, the other is blonde haired with blue eyes same thing, beautiful. They're just being typical giggling girls and saying "hey" and "thanks for your help" but I'm not thinking too much about it because 1. I feel like an asshole since Matt the Giant made me put on some coveralls that are a size to small ("because you gotta look professional") and they're giving me a mantoe. and 2. Because of said uniform I've gone from some guy helping out to, some mover-for-a-living type of guy and I start to feel matt's pain
So we walk back to the truck and the GIANT is giddy "DUDE! those chicks totally want us!!! They were checking you out bigtime! You gotta make the move!!!" I'm thinking (wtf are you talking about they were being nice) but I say "uh ok man, if there's a chance I'll make the move" "AWESOME!!" he says so we grab a couch and move it inside...
So we're standing there for about five minutes holding a couch while these chicks try and figure out where they want it. I'm getting a little irritable but manage to stay funny. The girls say "you seemed so cute until you became a smartass giggle giggle" I reply "yes well, sadly, that's not the first time I've heard that" Then the brunette says, "Do you guys want to sit down for a second?" The big boy says "SURE!" and sits down, I roll my eyes and sit down next to him and the girls jump on the couch...
We make small talk, I'm sensing something's coming when the brunette says "I want to play a game." I'm all "COOL, I am AWESOME at scrabble." hehehe giggle "NO I mean a different kind of game" she says. I'm like "Uno?" "No I'm thinking something better, it's called What Turns You On?"

Dear Diary "JACKPOT"

I can't believe it (but I'm me so I can a little) She takes off her shirt and says "My nipples are hard for you, does this turn you on?" OMG "Um, is that a rhetorical question, hell yes that turns me on." Matt the giant is punching me in the shoulder "OH BABY OH BABY" and I just want him to shut the **** up and not ruin this. The blonde says "Ooh! Ooh! I want to turn him on too!" and takes off her shirt. I feel like I've just stepped thru some transdimensional portal. and it feels pretty good so I say. "do you gals mind if I take these stupid coveralls off?" and since it's a size to small they help me. They also manage to relieve me of my shirt. Now the brunette who seems to be in charge is jumping up and down on the couch "What do you want me to do next? what do you want me to do next?" naturally I say "loose the pants" so she saches on over, turns her ass towards me bends over taking off her pants (no panties) and I just reach out and smack her on the ass leaving a handprint (hahaha) the blonde says "ooh I want him!" Matt the Giant is of course is sweating and looks like he's about to pop. This all keeps going with the girls kissing and fondling until things are really hot and heavy, "Does this turn you on?" "**** yes it does" "what about this?" "Uh yea, that does too" and then...
Our girl says "Do you know what turns us on?" "You better tell me" I say. "Well, it turns us on when....two guys kiss."............" "COME AGAIN?" so she says it again. I'm like "well that's not happening..." Matt the GIANT/EX-CONVICT says "whoa whoa, what kind of kiss?" I look over at him "Bro, don't even entertain this, they're playing some kind of game" but the girls answer him anyway "like this" and then they make out like us guys dream of. "I say, girls, there is no way in hell, ok?, but, I'm pretty sure we can find something else that will turn you on" the blonde says "here's the deal, if you guys kiss, you can do whatever you want to us." I'm like "You know what, that sounds like a great deal...in prison, I'm gonna need one hell of a down payment to even consider it, but I'm not that hard up so you can forget it" now Matt jumps up and yells "OH COME ON MAN, YOU KNOW I NEVER GET LAID, LETS **** THESE GIRLS!!!" and now I'm remembering my mental note about Matt the Giant being crazy. See here's what I think. Two strippers are having fun at our expense and this jackass is still thinking we can get laid. I say "Bro, you're kinda making me a little uncomfortable so sit down" he sits down right beside me, grabs my shoulder and says "We're making out!" I stand up "Get your ****ing hand off me, **** THIS, AND **** YOU (I say to the Giant), I'm outta here"
The Giant stands up and gets "**** ME HUH?" out of his mouth before I shove his ass back down. I'm thinking I'M GOING TO WAR RIGHT ****ING NOW!!! He tries to come up again"RRRRAAAARRR!!! and I snap his head down into a choke hold and I CHOKE THIS MOTHER****ER LIKE THIS COULD BE HIS LAST MOVING JOB!!!
The girls are screaming and suddenly there are 30 people in the room. I can start to hear something, and that something is "STOP STOP YOU'RE ON A SHOW!"
WHAT???? ARE YOU ****IN KIDDING ME?? "Dude I'm so sorry you're on a show, its playboy TV, it was never supposed to go down like that I swear." JESUS CHRIST, my friend Bobby is there grinning." What an asshole" I think.
It takes me a couple moments to calm down, I mean, 1st I think I'm going to do some lousy job, then I'm about to get laid by two of the more hot girls I've seen, all of a sudden I'm fighting a monster and now I find out I'm on a show.
Everyone is telling me how awesome that was and that's the best they've ever seen and "you're hilarious!!" People are just shaking their heads and smiling, they can't believe what just happened. I end up getting the blondes number and everyone is shaking my hand and even the wardrobe people are telling me how funny I was being. Turns out Matt is a former WWE wrestler the two chicks are playboy girls that we're all in on it. Those heartless bitches haha
Anyway we get back in the car and I feel pretty satisfied with myself 1.That guy was trying to intimidate me right off the bat and it didn't work 2.Those girls were trying to get me to look like a desperate asshole and I wasn't buying any. 3. When the big boy thought he could physically handle me I dropped him like a sack of potatoes 4. When it was all over I was a good sport and everyone knew I was the man. I walked into a ****storm and came out smelling like a rose. The show airs sometime this summer. And guess what else? I got a free T-shirt too. ; )

Jayson: Lmao I just pissed on myself a little. May have sharted too. Jesus...Okay its time for my Fight club question. If you could fight ANYONE living or dead who would you like to sock it out with in the ring?

Coltrane: ooh damn.....that's a toughie

I'd say osama, but he's a bitch

I'd say Hillary but she's already too ugly

ok jokes aside, when I was a senior in high school my best friend and I got jumped by 3 guys with knives on our way to our senior prom, We fought them off and they got arrested in the same hospital where we were getting stitches but I'd really like to break off a few pieces of any one of the three of those guys.


Jayson: I bet they would run this time around Knives or not. Who are some of the best fighters you have ever trained with?

Coltrane: They ran last time too the lousy punks it's cool though, everyone thinks my scars are cool haha... I've trained with a lot of the best guys, Couture, Ortiz, Rico Rodriguez, Rampage Jackson, Mayhem Miller, Karol Parisyian, David Loeasue (or however you spell that) Brandon Vera, and a lot of other very talented but lesser known fighters like myself..

Jayson: That's quite an Impressive list. What would you say to other young athletes trying to break out big in the MMA scene?

Coltrane: This things a marathon, not a sprint dig in for the long haul and when you lose, (everyone does, except Fedor) don't get down on yourself, just pick up the pieces and get better.

Jayson: Actually Fedor lost to Tsuyoshi Kohsaka in a "rings" event back in 2000...(cough) LAME (cough)....Where do you see yourself in five years Josh ?

Coltrane: I thought we already established that rings don't count! 5 yrs? Man, I'd like to see myself smoking a nice cigar getting a rubdown by a pretty gal with all my best friends in adjoining rooms doing the same at some 5 star hotel celebrating another sweet victory.

[JaysonEmo]

Jayson: When you break into the UFC you'll have to score me some tickets so i can come watch and go to the afterparty. Josh It's been a pleasure. Where can your fans go to keep up with your career and send some words of encouragement ?

Coltrane: Done ! Myspace is probably the best place to give me a shout, (I also welcome words or discouragement after all, behind every successful man lies a pack of haters haha) myspace.com/souperwolf (souperwolf is supposed to be funny, remember when I said I'd run out of new material?) anyways, it's been emotional. Stay cool Jayson

Jayson: You to Josh. Stay safe and stay healthy and best of luck...