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Philosophical DiscussionDo you have a philosophical view to martial arts styles, training, etc. ?
RESPECT is one of the most (if not the most) important attributes for society to maintain, yet it is hard to define. On its broadest level respect is the acknowledgment that someone has value. They may be rich, work very hard, or may simply treat everyone in a way that gives them value. The importance on this value is that it changes peoples reactions towards you, usually in a positive way. A person is more likely to treat you with respect if you do what is asked of you instead of arguing with them. It is the value you earned while doing what you were told that has lead the person to respect you and therefore treat you nicely.
I agree there is a different type of pain. But you do not need to use Physical pain to make a point, teach. It is all up to the parent to teach, model and correct the child to learn manners. This goes beyond respect. How someone chews his food, cursing in front of parents.
Parents are the essential role in character building. If we are bring raised as Sissies that too is are parents. In my family you grew up tough and learned to defend for your self. Not with your hands but in life in general. But my parents always had my back and picked me up when I was down. I will do the same for my kid,
If you go deeper into the one liner of it maybe it's not that far off. If you think in turns of just physical or emotional pain then yea it doesn't hold much salt. But there all kinds of pain, some people consider not getting what they want is a type of pain, thinking of others before yourself can be a pain. It's a stretch but, yea there you go.
That makes a helluva lot more sense. However I'm not giving the previous posters the benefit of the doubt. I'm pretty damn sure they meant physical pain.
__________________ The name means...No matter how many times you cut him, he will never fall. My soul cutter has no name, it is merely a tool.
I'll Still Kill!
Even the best of men are capable of the most disgusting evil. Just as the most evil man is capable of showing kindness.
Do not be fooled into thinking your enemy's sin is worse than yours, or that your's is better than his.
There is no part of physical pain in teaching kids respect! NONE!
So if a kid reaches out suddenly at a strange dog and gets nipped he won't learn to respect the next animal he comes across?
If he touches a hot stove, he won't learn to 'respect' unfamiliar things that might hurt him?
If he picks on another little kid at school and gets punched in the nose he won't learn that you ought not treat people like that?
If he gets sick from eating too much candy and experiences that pain he won't learn to respect his body?
If he treats girls badly and then gets his heart broken by one he won't learn to respect the feelings of the next gal that comes into his life?
If he has to train hard - very hard - and go through all manner of pain while doing so in order to win in a competition he won't learn to respect the effort and dedication it takes and respect his opponent for putting himself through the same experience to prepare to compete at his best? He won't have a kind of respect for newer kids knowing what they will be going through? He won't respect his coaches and teachers knowing they have been through even more than he?
If he gets punched, kicked, thrown, cut, torn and twisted he won't respect others who have the courage to get in the ring like he did?
If he lives and loves and learns and grows and experiences all the kinds of pain and difficulty that surely life doth bring, he won't respect older people who have seen even more of this life than he?
and more all bring pain of one sort or another to one degree or another into everyone's life (no matter how many times you want to threaten to 'beat up' the world to prevent it) and every turn is an opportunity to learn, among other things, respect.
If the only response to pain is fear, then the parents have dropped the ball somewhere along the line.
I thought I had made all this clear in my initial post.
I agree with everything here these are life experieces that cause pain. He then learns from that 100% agree, love this post! Sorry if I misread your original post!
My only point is no parent needs to cause PAIN to there children for them to learn respect. That is my main point.
So if a kid reaches out suddenly at a strange dog and gets nipped he won't learn to respect the next animal he comes across?
If he touches a hot stove, he won't learn to 'respect' unfamiliar things that might hurt him?
If he picks on another little kid at school and gets punched in the nose he won't learn that you ought not treat people like that?
If he gets sick from eating too much candy and experiences that pain he won't learn to respect his body?
If he treats girls badly and then gets his heart broken by one he won't learn to respect the feelings of the next gal that comes into his life?
If he has to train hard - very hard - and go through all manner of pain while doing so in order to win in a competition he won't learn to respect the effort and dedication it takes and respect his opponent for putting himself through the same experience to prepare to compete at his best? He won't have a kind of respect for newer kids knowing what they will be going through? He won't respect his coaches and teachers knowing they have been through even more than he?
If he gets punched, kicked, thrown, cut, torn and twisted he won't respect others who have the courage to get in the ring like he did?
If he lives and loves and learns and grows and experiences all the kinds of pain and difficulty that surely life doth bring, he won't respect older people who have seen even more of this life than he?
and more all bring pain of one sort or another to one degree or another into everyone's life (no matter how many times you want to threaten to 'beat up' the world to prevent it) and every turn is an opportunity to learn, among other things, respect.
If the only response to pain is fear, then the parents have dropped the ball somewhere along the line.
I thought I had made all this clear in my initial post.
Good post and by far the longest post and something with your personal view. I like it!!
Somehow you always have to throw that in there....
I have a 10 month old son and when he's old enough (couple of years), he'll start his formal martial arts training. I have no problem starting him in TKD. The only thing is I wouldn't stop it there. After he gets 1st degree blackbelt, I would let him take some other styles to compliment his training.
I dont know about you westerners out there, but I was brought up in a strict asian culture where rewards and punishments reign supreme. My father was a strict disciplinarian (what he says goes) and my late mother was the sort of counseller. My father's rewards were rarely given explicitly, publicly or verbally but I somehow knew when he was proud of me or approved of what I have done. But whenever I did wrong, late coming home from play, missed prayers, disrespectful to an elder, drops in school results, not telling where you were etc; he had this special rattan for caning his childen. We the children were so dreadful of the sight of that rattan hanging on the wall of our living room where father held his court. He never use his hand to slap or hit us, especially the head. It was always the palm of our hand or the buttocks. The rattan was always used for wrongdoings rather than an abuse of us. It is still hanging in his living room for my children, his grandchildren to look at. He could spin lots of story to his grandchildren of how the rattan was used. He has gone soft over the years when all of his children have grown up and raise families of their own. We, the children, took the punishment given to us after he had explain what we did wrong and ran to mother for who would hug us for support. She, however, would never defied father by saying you were wrongfully accused. Father told us one day after a prayer together, that God has given him the responsibility to teach us what is right and wrong. He would take that responsibility seriously until he feel that we can think for ourselves. Even in his seventies now, he is still keeping watch on his children from afar.
A particularly good lesson is this. My elder brother was caught red-handed smoking a cigarette when he was 15 years old. A photograph was taken of him with a cigarette in his hand among friends and somehow the photo came into father's possession. My father (a non-smoker of course) was furios. My brother faced his lecture and recieved 3 strokes of the rattan for that right in front of us. My brother, in his 40s now, never smokes after that incident. None of us become smokers eventhough we have our own money to spend now.
We, the children, all grown-ups now have deep respect for him and love him dearly for all the teaching he gave us.
How did this experience affect me as a father?
I am more of a rewading father than my own father. I praise my children verbally for good behaviors, show more emotions than him. My three year old has recieved a few spanking himself on the bottom. I will never hit him on the head though especially using the hand, not advisable in teaching children, my own father was specific on that. My 1 1/2 daughter doesnt know anything yet, she has yet to learn language to understand. I will consider getting myself a rattan to hang in my living room when my children get a bit older for good measure. I know some of you may not agree with punishment. I learn a lot of psychology, Pavlov's and Skinner's behaviorist theory, of rewards and punishment and behavior modification in my undergraduate and graduate studies. Most educationists nowadays would advise the use of psychology in the teaching of children. My father never learn that. He learnt from the way he was brought up traditionally by his father.
I am continously making my own decision as time goes by with my children. How about you?
Where does Respect come from?
I'll Still Kill!
How about you?
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