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Philosophical DiscussionDo you have a philosophical view to martial arts styles, training, etc. ?
I dont know about you westerners out there, but I was brought up in a strict asian culture where rewards and punishments reign supreme. My father was a strict disciplinarian (what he says goes) and my late mother was the sort of counseller. My father's rewards were rarely given explicitly, publicly or verbally but I somehow knew when he was proud of me or approved of what I have done. But whenever I did wrong, late coming home from play, missed prayers, disrespectful to an elder, drops in school results, not telling where you were etc; he had this special rattan for caning his childen. We the children were so dreadful of the sight of that rattan hanging on the wall of our living room where father held his court. He never use his hand to slap or hit us, especially the head. It was always the palm of our hand or the buttocks. The rattan was always used for wrongdoings rather than an abuse of us. It is still hanging in his living room for my children, his grandchildren to look at. He could spin lots of story to his grandchildren of how the rattan was used. He has gone soft over the years when all of his children have grown up and raise families of their own. We, the children, took the punishment given to us after he had explain what we did wrong and ran to mother for who would hug us for support. She, however, would never defied father by saying you were wrongfully accused. Father told us one day after a prayer together, that God has given him the responsibility to teach us what is right and wrong. He would take that responsibility seriously until he feel that we can think for ourselves. Even in his seventies now, he is still keeping watch on his children from afar.
A particularly good lesson is this. My elder brother was caught red-handed smoking a cigarette when he was 15 years old. A photograph was taken of him with a cigarette in his hand among friends and somehow the photo came into father's possession. My father (a non-smoker of course) was furios. My brother faced his lecture and recieved 3 strokes of the rattan for that right in front of us. My brother, in his 40s now, never smokes after that incident. None of us become smokers eventhough we have our own money to spend now.
We, the children, all grown-ups now have deep respect for him and love him dearly for all the teaching he gave us.
How did this experience affect me as a father?
I am more of a rewading father than my own father. I praise my children verbally for good behaviors, show more emotions than him. My three year old has recieved a few spanking himself on the bottom. I will never hit him on the head though especially using the hand, not advisable in teaching children, my own father was specific on that. My 1 1/2 daughter doesnt know anything yet, she has yet to learn language to understand. I will consider getting myself a rattan to hang in my living room when my children get a bit older for good measure. I know some of you may not agree with punishment. I learn a lot of psychology, Pavlov's and Skinner's behaviorist theory, of rewards and punishment and behavior modification in my undergraduate and graduate studies. Most educationists nowadays would advise the use of psychology in the teaching of children. My father never learn that. He learnt from the way he was brought up traditionally by his father.
I am continously making my own decision as time goes by with my children. How about you?
I don't support the idea of beating your children.
Mainly 'cause I guess you'd get really mad at me...
I don't support the idea of beating your children.
Mainly 'cause I guess you'd get really mad at me...
I didn't get the last sentence there.
But anyway, we are certainly brought up in different cultures and background. I do agree that educational background also play a part in how you raise your children. My disciplinary treatment of my children is way softer than the treatment i got from my own father. Time is certainly changing.
I don't support the idea of beating your kids...you see? As if I were talking about your kids specifically rather than kids in general...'cause you'd get mad at me if I supported the idea of beating your kids specifically...get it?
I don't support the idea of beating your kids...you see? As if I were talking about your kids specifically rather than kids in general...'cause you'd get mad at me if I supported the idea of beating your kids specifically...get it?
Um...
It's hilarious, trust me.
ok. Now that you explained it, i got it. today must be a bad day for me, I didn't recognised a joke. i need to go to a joke website somewhere. hmm
I don't support the idea of beating your kids...you see? As if I were talking about your kids specifically rather than kids in general...'cause you'd get mad at me if I supported the idea of beating your kids specifically...get it?
Where does Respect come from?
How about you?
hmm
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